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Latest from Frank Cerabino

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Cerabino: Palm Beach runs the marathon out of town, naturally
 It’s understandable why Palm Beach is banning the area’s annual marathon from including a 1.2-mile stretch of the race within town limits. “It’s not in the interest, I think, of our residents,” Town Council member Bobbie Lindsay explained at meeting this week. “It’s a small town. It’s quiet...

Posted: 13 hours ago

It’s understandable why Palm Beach is banning the area’s annual marathon from including a 1.2-mile stretch of the race within town limits. “It’s not in the interest, I think, of our residents,” Town Council member Bobbie Lindsay explained at meeting this week. “It’s a small town. It’s quiet...
Cerabino: Florida candidate blunders into major issue with diploma
 Melissa Howard decided to end her campaign for the Florida House on Tuesday due to her amazing knack for incompetent dishonesty. It’s too bad. While dishonesty is widely viewed as an unattractive trait for someone seeking elected office, incompetent dishonesty could actually be an asset. If you’re too careless to be...

Posted: 2 days ago

Melissa Howard decided to end her campaign for the Florida House on Tuesday due to her amazing knack for incompetent dishonesty. It’s too bad. While dishonesty is widely viewed as an unattractive trait for someone seeking elected office, incompetent dishonesty could actually be an asset. If you’re too careless to be...
Cerabino: Trump’s talk of a Space Force is a launching of merchandise
 News item: The Trump administration ramped up its call for a sixth branch of the military, called Space Force, to protect America from attacks launched from outer space. *** Space Force merchandise! Now, it makes sense. This is the zero-gravity version of Trump University. “President Trump wants a SPACE FORCE — a ground breaking...

Posted: 3 days ago

News item: The Trump administration ramped up its call for a sixth branch of the military, called Space Force, to protect America from attacks launched from outer space. *** Space Force merchandise! Now, it makes sense. This is the zero-gravity version of Trump University. “President Trump wants a SPACE FORCE — a ground breaking...
Cerabino: Florida Dems running for governor running after Graham
 If you were lucky enough to miss the fifth and final debate among the five Democrats running for Florida governor, fear not. I have a condensed recap of this hour-long event featuring Tallahassee mayor Andrew Gillum, former Miami Beach mayor Philip Levine, Palm Beach businessman Jeff Greene, former North Florida Congresswoman Gwen Graham...

Posted: 13 days ago

If you were lucky enough to miss the fifth and final debate among the five Democrats running for Florida governor, fear not. I have a condensed recap of this hour-long event featuring Tallahassee mayor Andrew Gillum, former Miami Beach mayor Philip Levine, Palm Beach businessman Jeff Greene, former North Florida Congresswoman Gwen Graham...
Cerabino: Palm Beach County Schools has your name, but not your number
 The Palm Beach County School Board is considering streamlining its school-naming policy to allow wealthy, living individuals to have schools named after them in exchange for a “significant contribution.” These “legacy naming rights” would replace a policy that gives the school’s advisory council (SAC) a...

Posted: 14 days ago

The Palm Beach County School Board is considering streamlining its school-naming policy to allow wealthy, living individuals to have schools named after them in exchange for a “significant contribution.” These “legacy naming rights” would replace a policy that gives the school’s advisory council (SAC) a...
Cerabino: Finding a companion program to doggie crackdown at Publix
 The CAVE Society applauds Publix for its new signs aimed at keeping most dogs out of the supermarkets. We Citizens Against Virtually Everything have been annoyed by the gradual inclusion of canines into the shopping experience, especially those transported in baby strollers or infant harnesses. These dogs are almost never service animals...

Posted: 15 days ago

The CAVE Society applauds Publix for its new signs aimed at keeping most dogs out of the supermarkets. We Citizens Against Virtually Everything have been annoyed by the gradual inclusion of canines into the shopping experience, especially those transported in baby strollers or infant harnesses. These dogs are almost never service animals...
Cerabino: Blue-green algae bloom creates a fishing hole in Stuart
 Irony alert: This summer’s algae bloom shut down the Stuart office of Florida Sportsman magazine, a publication that celebrates fishing in the state’s waters. “The algae started coming in late June, and then it just grew in the water,” said David Conway, the magazine’s managing editor. The magazine’s office...

Posted: 17 days ago

Irony alert: This summer’s algae bloom shut down the Stuart office of Florida Sportsman magazine, a publication that celebrates fishing in the state’s waters. “The algae started coming in late June, and then it just grew in the water,” said David Conway, the magazine’s managing editor. The magazine’s office...
Cerabino: Judge spoils Florida’s plan to ban early voting on campuses
 Bad news, folks. Your Florida government’s ingenious plan to keep young people from voting hit a snag last week. It came in a ruling from one of those activist federal judges doing a lot of yammering about “the Constitution” or whatever. Sheesh, and it was such a clever plan. As your state leaders know, young people frequently...

Posted: 18 days ago

Bad news, folks. Your Florida government’s ingenious plan to keep young people from voting hit a snag last week. It came in a ruling from one of those activist federal judges doing a lot of yammering about “the Constitution” or whatever. Sheesh, and it was such a clever plan. As your state leaders know, young people frequently...
‘Trump hate’ costs elected official in Palm Beach County her seat
 There’s a vacancy on the board of the Palm Beach Soil and Water Conservation District. I know. I know. Who would ever step down from such a plum post? I mean, it’s the go-to board for wet dirt in the county. We’re not talking about a piddling post on the Indian Trail Improvement District or one of the elected seats on the...

Posted: 21 days ago

There’s a vacancy on the board of the Palm Beach Soil and Water Conservation District. I know. I know. Who would ever step down from such a plum post? I mean, it’s the go-to board for wet dirt in the county. We’re not talking about a piddling post on the Indian Trail Improvement District or one of the elected seats on the...
Cerabino: Florida in spotlight again over its not-so-polite gun laws
 I think science fiction writer Robert Heinlein got it wrong. “An armed society is a polite society,” Heinlein said. It’s a line frequently echoed by gun-rights groups. But we got a good reminder how questionable that assertion is after another “stand your ground” shooting in Florida that has become national news...

Posted: 23 days ago

I think science fiction writer Robert Heinlein got it wrong. “An armed society is a polite society,” Heinlein said. It’s a line frequently echoed by gun-rights groups. But we got a good reminder how questionable that assertion is after another “stand your ground” shooting in Florida that has become national news...
Cerabino: New Florida law on beach access a chance to “sand a message.”
 Going to the beach has never been so political as it is this year in Florida. That’s because the Florida Legislature took a swipe at the longstanding doctrine of “customary use” for beachfront property. The public has always had access rights to the high-water mark on Florida’s shorelines, which is considered state-owned...

Posted: 24 days ago

Going to the beach has never been so political as it is this year in Florida. That’s because the Florida Legislature took a swipe at the longstanding doctrine of “customary use” for beachfront property. The public has always had access rights to the high-water mark on Florida’s shorelines, which is considered state-owned...
Cerabino: Florida’s NRA mouthpiece reaches for a silencer
 Florida’s chief NRA lobbyist Marion Hammer is standing her ground in a whole new way. This month, the 79-year-old grandmother and the guiding hand of permissive gun legislation in Florida for decades, filed a 129-page federal lawsuit that is mostly a compilation of the bitter, profane and sometimes threatening emails she received...

Posted: 27 days ago

Florida’s chief NRA lobbyist Marion Hammer is standing her ground in a whole new way. This month, the 79-year-old grandmother and the guiding hand of permissive gun legislation in Florida for decades, filed a 129-page federal lawsuit that is mostly a compilation of the bitter, profane and sometimes threatening emails she received...
Cerabino: Weak on borders? Letting the Canadians stay in Florida
 I know the news has been crazy lately, and the last thing you need right now is one more bizarre news story, but that’s why I’m here. It turns out Florida’s two U.S. senators, Marco Rubio and Bill Nelson, have put aside their political differences to co-sponsor a bill that would allow older Canadians to vacation in Florida...

Posted: 28 days ago

I know the news has been crazy lately, and the last thing you need right now is one more bizarre news story, but that’s why I’m here. It turns out Florida’s two U.S. senators, Marco Rubio and Bill Nelson, have put aside their political differences to co-sponsor a bill that would allow older Canadians to vacation in Florida...
Cerabino: Dear Prez Trump: There’s a Florida angle to judging Putin
 More good news from the Trump-Putin summit. Remember the video simulation that Russia unveiled four months ago? It showed what purported to be a new long-range Sarmat cruise missile that Russian president Vladimir Putin called “invincible.” The video simulation showed a shower of these nuclear missiles raining down on South...

Posted: 30 days ago

More good news from the Trump-Putin summit. Remember the video simulation that Russia unveiled four months ago? It showed what purported to be a new long-range Sarmat cruise missile that Russian president Vladimir Putin called “invincible.” The video simulation showed a shower of these nuclear missiles raining down on South...
Racial slurs in Florida’s courts are thing of the past, the past month
 It was shocking to be reminded of the word “moolie” again. It has been probably 40 years since I heard that well-worn racial slur being spoken. If you grew up in an Italian-American community in Long Island, like I did, you heard it a lot. Moolie is a slang version of “mulignan”, which is itself a permutation of the...

9:47 PM Monday, Jul. 16, 2018

It was shocking to be reminded of the word “moolie” again. It has been probably 40 years since I heard that well-worn racial slur being spoken. If you grew up in an Italian-American community in Long Island, like I did, you heard it a lot. Moolie is a slang version of “mulignan”, which is itself a permutation of the...
Water bottle fight at condo pool a drop in bucket to larger conflict
 South Florida condominium disputes are rarely about one thing. It might look like there’s a fight over some specific issue, but dig deeper, and a rich history of conflict awaits. That’s the case at Abbey Village in suburban Delray Beach, where for five years, resident Bruce Petricca, 60, has been fighting to allow his 86-year-old...

4:00 AM Saturday, Jul. 14, 2018

South Florida condominium disputes are rarely about one thing. It might look like there’s a fight over some specific issue, but dig deeper, and a rich history of conflict awaits. That’s the case at Abbey Village in suburban Delray Beach, where for five years, resident Bruce Petricca, 60, has been fighting to allow his 86-year-old...
Cerabino: A dark cloud appears over the rainbow flag of Lake Worth
 There’s a wrinkle in the tolerance force field in Lake Worth. This is shocking. Lake Worth is arguably the most LGBTQ-friendly city in Palm Beach County. Lake Worth claims the highest percentage of same-sex households in the state. It’s the headquarters for the Compass Community Center, the area’s comprehensive LGBTQ resource...

8:53 PM Thursday, Jul. 12, 2018

There’s a wrinkle in the tolerance force field in Lake Worth. This is shocking. Lake Worth is arguably the most LGBTQ-friendly city in Palm Beach County. Lake Worth claims the highest percentage of same-sex households in the state. It’s the headquarters for the Compass Community Center, the area’s comprehensive LGBTQ resource...
Cerabino: Legal abortion in Florida? Ask the women.
 We should all agree right now — before we get too deep into the political morass — that Florida’s women ought to decide this one. No men, just women. It’s the right thing to do. I’m talking about abortion. The retirement of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, who has been the swing vote keeping the...

7:43 PM Tuesday, Jul. 10, 2018

We should all agree right now — before we get too deep into the political morass — that Florida’s women ought to decide this one. No men, just women. It’s the right thing to do. I’m talking about abortion. The retirement of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, who has been the swing vote keeping the...
Cerabino: Florida must switch to other side of breast-feeding issue
 Florida’s going to have to crack down on breast-feeding. We’ve been way too progressive in lactation matters, and now find ourselves glaringly out of step with the country’s new efforts to elevate industry-produced baby formula over mothers milk. Over the weekend, U.S. officials reversed 40 years of scientific consensus...

7:57 PM Monday, Jul. 09, 2018

Florida’s going to have to crack down on breast-feeding. We’ve been way too progressive in lactation matters, and now find ourselves glaringly out of step with the country’s new efforts to elevate industry-produced baby formula over mothers milk. Over the weekend, U.S. officials reversed 40 years of scientific consensus...
Cerabino: Shamed columnist finds readers’ cold commentary a dying art
 Notes from hell; Volume 102: *** — Faith Campbell Dear Faith: It’s a great honor to know that I rank higher than the death notices, and also the photos of the dead. I often wonder where I fit in among readers. Usually, they tell me I’m somewhere between the crossword puzzle and the comics. And almost always being read...

11:00 AM Saturday, Jun. 30, 2018

Notes from hell; Volume 102: *** — Faith Campbell Dear Faith: It’s a great honor to know that I rank higher than the death notices, and also the photos of the dead. I often wonder where I fit in among readers. Usually, they tell me I’m somewhere between the crossword puzzle and the comics. And almost always being read...
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