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Latest from Frank Cerabino

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Cerabino: It’s not your house, it’s your heavily mortgaged canvas
 I was really hoping that the First Amendment might cover the dead spots on my front lawn. My wife’s been wanting me to patch them for awhile. So I’ve been counting on making the argument that the appearance of our home had less to do with visual appeal for the neighbors and more to do with my constitutional right of free expression...

Posted: 2 days ago

I was really hoping that the First Amendment might cover the dead spots on my front lawn. My wife’s been wanting me to patch them for awhile. So I’ve been counting on making the argument that the appearance of our home had less to do with visual appeal for the neighbors and more to do with my constitutional right of free expression...
Cerabino: Haven’t we exceeded our maximum of 100-year storms yet?
 I hereby request that the expression “100-year storm” be retired from public use. It clearly has lost its meaning. It’s like calling every boxing match, the “Fight of the Century.” After you do it a few times, you come to realize it’s just another two guys beating each other up. We now get beaten...

Posted: 4 days ago

I hereby request that the expression “100-year storm” be retired from public use. It clearly has lost its meaning. It’s like calling every boxing match, the “Fight of the Century.” After you do it a few times, you come to realize it’s just another two guys beating each other up. We now get beaten...
Cerabino: Gov. Scott’s Navy hat also has a hurricane message to tell
 With a hurricane headed toward North Florida today, the extended forecast in the Panhandle calls for heavy rains, widespread power outages and a storm surge of Gov. Rick Scott sightings in a Navy ball cap. Scott spent just 29 months in the Navy, keeping the Vietcong out of Bermuda during a single enlistment that was abbreviated for reasons...

Posted: 6 days ago

With a hurricane headed toward North Florida today, the extended forecast in the Panhandle calls for heavy rains, widespread power outages and a storm surge of Gov. Rick Scott sightings in a Navy ball cap. Scott spent just 29 months in the Navy, keeping the Vietcong out of Bermuda during a single enlistment that was abbreviated for reasons...
Cerabino: Jupiter land swap isn’t only housing we can’t afford
 The brazen move to disregard a “forever” environmental easement on 15 acres in Jupiter to build eight more luxury homes on golfer Jack Nicklaus’ the Bear’s Club invitation-only private community isn’t surprising. Florida has long been a haven for environmentally destructive unaffordable housing. The deal would...

Posted: 7 days ago

The brazen move to disregard a “forever” environmental easement on 15 acres in Jupiter to build eight more luxury homes on golfer Jack Nicklaus’ the Bear’s Club invitation-only private community isn’t surprising. Florida has long been a haven for environmentally destructive unaffordable housing. The deal would...
Cerabino: What else retired Supreme Court Justice Stevens said in Boca
 When I sat down for a 45-minute conversation with retired U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens this week he said a lot of interesting things. But so far, they’ve been drowned out by one provocative opinion: That court nominee Brett Kavanaugh shouldn’t be confirmed for a seat on the high court. Stevens’ remark came...

Posted: 10 days ago

When I sat down for a 45-minute conversation with retired U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens this week he said a lot of interesting things. But so far, they’ve been drowned out by one provocative opinion: That court nominee Brett Kavanaugh shouldn’t be confirmed for a seat on the high court. Stevens’ remark came...
Cerabino: Press 2 for really bad Spanish in state’s Nelson-Scott debate
 You probably missed the first debate between Florida Gov. Rick Scott and U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson. Scott and Nelson are vying for Nelson’s seat in the Senate, and after agreeing to do just two debates, the candidates did their first one this week in a way that guaranteed a minuscule audience. Which was a blessing. The debate, an hourlong...

Posted: 11 days ago

You probably missed the first debate between Florida Gov. Rick Scott and U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson. Scott and Nelson are vying for Nelson’s seat in the Senate, and after agreeing to do just two debates, the candidates did their first one this week in a way that guaranteed a minuscule audience. Which was a blessing. The debate, an hourlong...
Throwing away a winning Florida Lottery ticket? Don’t bet against it.
 Chances are good that when the clock strikes midnight on Wednesday of next week, there will suddenly be a worthless $111,467 lottery ticket in Florida. This happens, not often, but often enough. It turns out, the odds of winning a Florida lottery jackpot are much worse than the odds of failing to cash in a winning ticket. Winners are given...

Posted: 13 days ago

Chances are good that when the clock strikes midnight on Wednesday of next week, there will suddenly be a worthless $111,467 lottery ticket in Florida. This happens, not often, but often enough. It turns out, the odds of winning a Florida lottery jackpot are much worse than the odds of failing to cash in a winning ticket. Winners are given...
Cerabino: Kavanaugh fight viewed in the longer lens of Justice Stevens
 One indisputable benefit of the wrenching political tug of war over the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the U.S. Supreme Court has been that it has focused America’s scatterbrained attention on something really important. After all, who gets to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court is far more consequential than other recent national...

Posted: 14 days ago

One indisputable benefit of the wrenching political tug of war over the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the U.S. Supreme Court has been that it has focused America’s scatterbrained attention on something really important. After all, who gets to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court is far more consequential than other recent national...
Cerabino: “Humane treatment” of greyhounds triggers NRA alarm in Florida
 You wouldn’t think that gun owners have a stake in whether to ban greyhound racing in Florida. But that’s what Florida’s NRA lobbyist thinks. I’ll explain. In November, Florida voters will be asked to vote on a state constitutional amendment that would prohibit betting on dog races in the state after the year...

Posted: 16 days ago

You wouldn’t think that gun owners have a stake in whether to ban greyhound racing in Florida. But that’s what Florida’s NRA lobbyist thinks. I’ll explain. In November, Florida voters will be asked to vote on a state constitutional amendment that would prohibit betting on dog races in the state after the year...
An old PB County trial and a new St. Lucie school policy intersect
 For the first time in many years, I thought about Len Register, who once did something I never saw another lawyer do. He quit in the middle of a criminal trial. He got up, insulted his co-counsel — who was also his boss — in front of the judge, and then walked out to his car and drove away from the Palm Beach County Courthouse...

Posted: 18 days ago

For the first time in many years, I thought about Len Register, who once did something I never saw another lawyer do. He quit in the middle of a criminal trial. He got up, insulted his co-counsel — who was also his boss — in front of the judge, and then walked out to his car and drove away from the Palm Beach County Courthouse...
20 warning signs that hints at the Trumpification of Disney World
 Over the weekend, a Donald Trump banner hung for a brief time in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Florida. The 10-foot-long “Re-Elect Trump 2020” banner was held up by two men and lowered over a railing at the Main Street train station until a security worker arrived. The banner’s owner and instigator...

Posted: 20 days ago

Over the weekend, a Donald Trump banner hung for a brief time in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Florida. The 10-foot-long “Re-Elect Trump 2020” banner was held up by two men and lowered over a railing at the Main Street train station until a security worker arrived. The banner’s owner and instigator...
Cerabino: Florida cigarette thief gets 20 years; we get the bill
 Let us consider the sentencing of Robert Spellman Jr. Spellman, 48, was convicted this summer of stealing 10 cartons of cigarettes from the locked manager’s office at a Circle K convenience store in Pensacola. His thievery at full retail price was valued at $600. Friday, an Escambia County judge sentenced Spellman to 20 years in...

Posted: 21 days ago

Let us consider the sentencing of Robert Spellman Jr. Spellman, 48, was convicted this summer of stealing 10 cartons of cigarettes from the locked manager’s office at a Circle K convenience store in Pensacola. His thievery at full retail price was valued at $600. Friday, an Escambia County judge sentenced Spellman to 20 years in...
We make fun of Canadians, but we’re the ones who created Florida Man
 Florida ought to charge an entertainment fee to the rest of the world. Seriously. Forget oranges. Our biggest export is weirdly entertaining news stories. This week, our gift is the story about a lumpy guy in Stuart who insists on doing his yard work in the nude. Oh no, he’s out there with his weed whacker again! Get a photo. The...

Posted: 24 days ago

Florida ought to charge an entertainment fee to the rest of the world. Seriously. Forget oranges. Our biggest export is weirdly entertaining news stories. This week, our gift is the story about a lumpy guy in Stuart who insists on doing his yard work in the nude. Oh no, he’s out there with his weed whacker again! Get a photo. The...
PBIA ranked below average in survey, behind an airport in Omaha? Huh?
 I have a bone to pick with a survey that found Palm Beach International Airport below average in the rankings of medium-sized airports. The J.D. Power 2018 North America Airport Satisfaction Survey put PBIA 14th in its listing of 22 airports. How can Palm Beach International be below average in satisfaction? Every time I go there, I feel...

Posted: 25 days ago

I have a bone to pick with a survey that found Palm Beach International Airport below average in the rankings of medium-sized airports. The J.D. Power 2018 North America Airport Satisfaction Survey put PBIA 14th in its listing of 22 airports. How can Palm Beach International be below average in satisfaction? Every time I go there, I feel...
Cerabino: Torn-jeans dress-code flap hard to bare for school parents
 I’m foolishly wading into a great controversy gripping our community. That is, whether it was right for Palm Beach County Mayor Melissa McKinlay’s daughter to be hauled out of her high school class for violating the dress code with a pair of jeans that had a wide rip at the right knee. The high-powered mom took to her Facebook...

Posted: 27 days ago

I’m foolishly wading into a great controversy gripping our community. That is, whether it was right for Palm Beach County Mayor Melissa McKinlay’s daughter to be hauled out of her high school class for violating the dress code with a pair of jeans that had a wide rip at the right knee. The high-powered mom took to her Facebook...
Cerabino: When it comes to Nike, Big Dog Ranch just does it wrong
 Colin Kaepernick ought to be a hero, not a villain, at the Big Dog Ranch Rescue in Loxahatchee Groves. Let me explain. Last week, Lauree Simmons, the president of the largest no-kill shelter in the Southeast, reacted to a Nike ad that supported the former NFL quarterback, who led the sideline kneeling protests during the playing of the...

Posted: 28 days ago

Colin Kaepernick ought to be a hero, not a villain, at the Big Dog Ranch Rescue in Loxahatchee Groves. Let me explain. Last week, Lauree Simmons, the president of the largest no-kill shelter in the Southeast, reacted to a Nike ad that supported the former NFL quarterback, who led the sideline kneeling protests during the playing of the...
Cerabino: Palm Beach County to join cutting edge ‘new date-night thing’
 I know what you’re thinking. “Frank, when is Palm Beach County going to get its first indoor ax-throwing center?” Soon, you Nordic culture fans. Soon. Joey Magee and his wife, Oshry, think it’s time to bring the “good organic fun” of throwing an ax to those locals who are looking for something new to do...

12:05 AM Saturday, Sep. 15, 2018

I know what you’re thinking. “Frank, when is Palm Beach County going to get its first indoor ax-throwing center?” Soon, you Nordic culture fans. Soon. Joey Magee and his wife, Oshry, think it’s time to bring the “good organic fun” of throwing an ax to those locals who are looking for something new to do...
Cerabino: Another year, another chance for Hurricane Limbaugh to blow
 Hurricane season is another opportunity for Rush Limbaugh to make a fool of himself while bad-mouthing climate science. Last year, Limbaugh groused about being forced to evacuate Palm Beach as Hurricane Irma approached the Florida coast. “Unlike UFOs, which only land in trailer parks, hurricanes are always forecast to hit major population...

10:26 PM Thursday, Sep. 13, 2018

Hurricane season is another opportunity for Rush Limbaugh to make a fool of himself while bad-mouthing climate science. Last year, Limbaugh groused about being forced to evacuate Palm Beach as Hurricane Irma approached the Florida coast. “Unlike UFOs, which only land in trailer parks, hurricanes are always forecast to hit major population...
Cerabino: Will Florida take high road by establishing marijuana banks?
 I’ve been trying to conceptualize a state-sponsored bank for marijuana providers in Florida. This started with Nicole “Nikki” Fried, who is running as the Democratic candidate for Florida Commissioner of Agriculture. Fried is a lawyer and medicinal marijuana lobbyist who has had a tough time dealing with traditional...

11:00 AM Wednesday, Sep. 12, 2018

I’ve been trying to conceptualize a state-sponsored bank for marijuana providers in Florida. This started with Nicole “Nikki” Fried, who is running as the Democratic candidate for Florida Commissioner of Agriculture. Fried is a lawyer and medicinal marijuana lobbyist who has had a tough time dealing with traditional...
Cerabino: Will God sign off on this PBC public school plan?
 The Palm Beach County School District came up with a great way to subvert a ridiculous state law. In the wake of the mass shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland in February, state lawmakers were pressured to take some actions to make students safer. Out of that call for action came House Bill 839, a measure...

3:19 PM Tuesday, Sep. 11, 2018

The Palm Beach County School District came up with a great way to subvert a ridiculous state law. In the wake of the mass shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland in February, state lawmakers were pressured to take some actions to make students safer. Out of that call for action came House Bill 839, a measure...
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