Frank Cerabino

Metro columnist for The Post since 1991.

Latest from Frank Cerabino

Free Melania! First lady needs some relief during Mar-a-Lago trips
 It’s during these presidential trips to Mar-a-Lago that I feel sorry for first lady Melania Trump. OK, I always feel sorry for Melania. But when she’s with her husband in Palm Beach, I feel extra sorry. Donald Trump’s in his glory down here. He gets to occupy most of his days with leisurely outings to his nearby golf...

Posted: 21 hours ago

It’s during these presidential trips to Mar-a-Lago that I feel sorry for first lady Melania Trump. OK, I always feel sorry for Melania. But when she’s with her husband in Palm Beach, I feel extra sorry. Donald Trump’s in his glory down here. He gets to occupy most of his days with leisurely outings to his nearby golf...
Cerabino: Seeing through mist of oil derricks will be a vapid exercise
 It’s not crazy to ask voters whether to ban offshore oil drilling in Florida’s waters. And it’s not crazy to ask voters whether to expand the ban on indoor smoking to include vaping. But it is crazy to ask both those questions in one take-it-or-leave it ballot measure. Welcome to Crazyville. This week, the Florida Constitution...

Posted: 2 days ago

It’s not crazy to ask voters whether to ban offshore oil drilling in Florida’s waters. And it’s not crazy to ask voters whether to expand the ban on indoor smoking to include vaping. But it is crazy to ask both those questions in one take-it-or-leave it ballot measure. Welcome to Crazyville. This week, the Florida Constitution...
Cerabino: Is Florida about to break a 31-year lock on local gun laws?
 It started with Joe Carlucci. The New York transplant spent a decade in Jacksonville city politics before becoming a state legislator. Carlucci was an avid hunter who became the National Rifle Association’s Legislator of the Year in 1984. Two years later, at the age of 57, he died of a heart attack while hunting in Georgia. His colleagues...

Posted: 3 days ago

It started with Joe Carlucci. The New York transplant spent a decade in Jacksonville city politics before becoming a state legislator. Carlucci was an avid hunter who became the National Rifle Association’s Legislator of the Year in 1984. Two years later, at the age of 57, he died of a heart attack while hunting in Georgia. His colleagues...
No politics, just porn star Stormy Daniels at West Palm strip club
 Stormy Daniels, the most politically relevant porn star in America, drew a crowd of curious patrons to a West Palm Beach strip club Friday night — husbands and wives, political junkies, celebrity hounds and others who found their attendance a delicate matter that might be better kept quiet. “This is just a spur-of-the-moment...

Posted: 6 days ago

Stormy Daniels, the most politically relevant porn star in America, drew a crowd of curious patrons to a West Palm Beach strip club Friday night — husbands and wives, political junkies, celebrity hounds and others who found their attendance a delicate matter that might be better kept quiet. “This is just a spur-of-the-moment...
The president and the porn star: You think you know all the details
 This will be an epic weekend in the history of Palm Beach County. We’ve never had a sitting president visiting on the same weekend that his porn-star albatross is booked at a local strip club. But that’s what’s happening. Stormy Daniels will be doing back-to-back strip shows at Ultra Gentlemen’s Club, across...

Posted: 7 days ago

This will be an epic weekend in the history of Palm Beach County. We’ve never had a sitting president visiting on the same weekend that his porn-star albatross is booked at a local strip club. But that’s what’s happening. Stormy Daniels will be doing back-to-back strip shows at Ultra Gentlemen’s Club, across...
Cerabino: Gov. Scott’s NAVY ball cap? It makes this Navy vet want to barf
 Does it bother me that Gov. Rick Scott is a mumbling autocrat who constantly undermines Florida’s public institutions to better serve deep-pocket private interests? Sure. But not as much as his Navy ball cap. Scott has already dusted off his cap, the blue one with the letters N-A-V-Y spelled out in yellow, big enough to be seen...

Posted: 9 days ago

Does it bother me that Gov. Rick Scott is a mumbling autocrat who constantly undermines Florida’s public institutions to better serve deep-pocket private interests? Sure. But not as much as his Navy ball cap. Scott has already dusted off his cap, the blue one with the letters N-A-V-Y spelled out in yellow, big enough to be seen...
Please let the Russians know my Facebook info isn’t worth stealing
 Dear Cambridge Analytica: I am writing you in the event I am one of the tens of millions of Americans who unknowingly had their Facebook information appropriated for political purposes. If you have used my Facebook account to develop a comprehensive profile of me I feel it’s only fair to correct some of the misinformation you will...

Posted: 10 days ago

Dear Cambridge Analytica: I am writing you in the event I am one of the tens of millions of Americans who unknowingly had their Facebook information appropriated for political purposes. If you have used my Facebook account to develop a comprehensive profile of me I feel it’s only fair to correct some of the misinformation you will...
Cerabino: From soup to nuts, reader mail takes a disturbing turn
 Notes from hell: Volume 101: * — Maria Massimi Dear Maria: Thank you for representing those who are “too ignorant” to appreciate the “disturbing experience” of reading my column. *** — Frank Kessler Dear Mr. Kessler: You’ve got this all wrong. Being roadwork-adjacent can transform a mediocre...

Posted: 13 days ago

Notes from hell: Volume 101: * — Maria Massimi Dear Maria: Thank you for representing those who are “too ignorant” to appreciate the “disturbing experience” of reading my column. *** — Frank Kessler Dear Mr. Kessler: You’ve got this all wrong. Being roadwork-adjacent can transform a mediocre...
Chinese-food indigestion? It’s the chicken, the rice. No, it’s a boy!
 News item: A Florida woman woke up in the middle of the night with abdominal pains she blamed on a bad batch of Chinese food. But it wasn’t the General Tso’s chicken. It was labor pains. Her boy was born on the way to the hospital. The woman later told the Pensacola News Journal she had no idea she was pregnant. *** Dear fertile...

Posted: 14 days ago

News item: A Florida woman woke up in the middle of the night with abdominal pains she blamed on a bad batch of Chinese food. But it wasn’t the General Tso’s chicken. It was labor pains. Her boy was born on the way to the hospital. The woman later told the Pensacola News Journal she had no idea she was pregnant. *** Dear fertile...
Harry’s Banana Farm takes a (half) serious turn for gun control
 Lou De Stout would rather be funny. After all, he’s the Bard of North Dixie Highway, the guy who comes up with all those funny messages you see on the sign outside of Harry’s Banana Farm, one of Lake Worth’s venerable watering holes. “Cremation, the only time you’ll have a smokin’ hot body.” Coming...

Posted: 16 days ago

Lou De Stout would rather be funny. After all, he’s the Bard of North Dixie Highway, the guy who comes up with all those funny messages you see on the sign outside of Harry’s Banana Farm, one of Lake Worth’s venerable watering holes. “Cremation, the only time you’ll have a smokin’ hot body.” Coming...
Setting the record straight on Channel 12’s fake-news editorial
 Here’s the script for the next on-air editorial I’d like to see from Liz Quirantes and John Discepolo, the co-anchors for WPEC Channel 12 news in West Palm Beach. *** Liz: Recently, John and I delivered an unusual on-air editorial warning viewers to be wary of fake news by “some media outlets.” John: That&rsquo...

Posted: 17 days ago

Here’s the script for the next on-air editorial I’d like to see from Liz Quirantes and John Discepolo, the co-anchors for WPEC Channel 12 news in West Palm Beach. *** Liz: Recently, John and I delivered an unusual on-air editorial warning viewers to be wary of fake news by “some media outlets.” John: That&rsquo...