WASHINGTON — Why not just go with Dirk Diggler?
I mean, if you’re going to pick a fake name to pay off a porn star you’ve dallied with, why choose something bland like David Dennison?
If you are, after all, Donald Trump, the king of grandiosity, go for a name worthy of being Stormy Daniels’ real-life co-star.
A proper moniker is in order if Trump is going to be our first porn president.
Kim Jong Un can drag him away for talks about the relative size of their nuclear buttons. Robert Mueller can continue his imperturbable march through the Trump family’s field of lies.
But Donald Trump will not be deterred. He is determined to be our most shameless president, running a White House awash in salacious stories and louche characters.
Asked by reporters Wednesday how Republicans would have responded if President Barack Obama had been charged with cavorting with a porn star (right after his wife had a baby, no less), Republican Sen. John Kennedy of Louisiana replied, “I don’t know,” adding, “This is no country for creepy old men.”
Trump’s love life, it seems, boasts more pseudonyms than Frank Abagnale Jr.
Stormy Daniels’ real name is Stephanie Clifford, but she was called Peggy Peterson, or “P.P.” (shades of the dossier!), and Trump was referred to as David Dennison in the 2016 legal agreement Trump lawyer Michael Cohen drew up to buy her silence before the election for $130,000.
Stormy, the star of 2016’s “Sex Bots: Programmed for Pleasure,” has learned to be litigious from the master. She sued, claiming the agreement is null and void because Trump, aka John Barron, John Miller and David Dennison, didn’t sign it. But Cohen slapped a restraining order on the actress, even as she sat for a “60 Minutes” segment with Anderson Cooper this past week.
Alana Evans, another blond porn actress, who has appeared in “It’s Okay! She’s My Mother in Law 13,” claims that Trump told her she should come along to his hotel room with Stormy that weekend in 2006 at the Lake Tahoe golf tournament, but she didn’t.
Jessica Drake, yet another porn actress, who starred in “Massage School Dropouts,” appeared with Gloria Allred the month before the presidential election to accuse Trump of kissing her without permission and offering to pay her for sex at the SAME golf tournament, a charge Trump denied.
The president, who often seems short-tempered, nasty and impatient with others and who has certainly been disrespectful to his wife, showed his sweet side to his mistresses in the skin trade.
He actually took time out from showing Stormy a picture of himself on the cover of a magazine, according to her interview in In Touch Weekly, to ask her about her own work in the porn industry.
“He was very curious,” she said. “Not necessarily about the sex or anything like that, but business questions.” Like how much she made off royalties from the movies.
The Stormy episode is exactly the kind of embarrassing episode that Trump wiggled out of for decades, denying that he knew women who accused him, playing the legal and media angles to kill stories, getting the help of friends and employees to pay off women.
But times have dramatically changed, post-Weinstein. Trump and by extension the Republican Party are facing a gender chasm they may fall into in November.
Disgusted with the Rat Pack role model at the top, women are lining up not just to vote, but to run for office. A historic number are running for Congress this year, and in Texas alone last Tuesday, 25 Democratic women won their primaries or advanced to a runoff.