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Latest from Frank Cerabino

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There’s plenty rhyme, reason in these Deadline Limerick submissions
 OK, enough limericks. I need a break. I’m starting to see five-line ditties in my sleep. Several days ago, I used this column and the annual Palm Beach Poetry Festival as an excuse to challenge readers to come up with “deadline limericks” — ones that play off the news. And I wrote that in a future column I would publish...

Posted: a minute ago

OK, enough limericks. I need a break. I’m starting to see five-line ditties in my sleep. Several days ago, I used this column and the annual Palm Beach Poetry Festival as an excuse to challenge readers to come up with “deadline limericks” — ones that play off the news. And I wrote that in a future column I would publish...
Cerabino: In immigration debate, Florida’s Rubio should find his voice
 This would be a great time for Marco Rubio to start talking about his parents again. I’ll admit, I’ve grown weary over the years hearing the junior U.S. senator from Florida find a way in speeches to include the biographical detail that he comes from humble beginnings. “I live in an exceptional country where even the son...

Posted: a day ago

This would be a great time for Marco Rubio to start talking about his parents again. I’ll admit, I’ve grown weary over the years hearing the junior U.S. senator from Florida find a way in speeches to include the biographical detail that he comes from humble beginnings. “I live in an exceptional country where even the son...
You’re a poet, you don’t know it until you write a deadline limerick
 If you haven’t been paying attention, allow me to point out a glaring omission in the lineup for this year’s Palm Beach Poetry Festival. The annual event, staged this week at the Crest Theater and Old School Square in Delray Beach, is a six-day schedule of workshops, readings and talks that touch a lot of bases. For example...

Posted: 3 days ago

If you haven’t been paying attention, allow me to point out a glaring omission in the lineup for this year’s Palm Beach Poetry Festival. The annual event, staged this week at the Crest Theater and Old School Square in Delray Beach, is a six-day schedule of workshops, readings and talks that touch a lot of bases. For example...
Cerabino: For Brightline, it’s a time for many to try rail
 Roger and Mary Hansen were among the curious. The Wellington retirees had friends, Tom and Wanda Werneking, visiting from The Villages, a Central Florida retirement community. “We usually go to the fair, but we thought we’d try the train today,” Roger Hansen said. So the four friends made an outing of the area’s new...

Posted: 4 days ago

Roger and Mary Hansen were among the curious. The Wellington retirees had friends, Tom and Wanda Werneking, visiting from The Villages, a Central Florida retirement community. “We usually go to the fair, but we thought we’d try the train today,” Roger Hansen said. So the four friends made an outing of the area’s new...
Cerabino: Help is on the way! Cars without drivers coming to Florida.
 Mark it on your calendar. This is the time Florida has entered a brave new world. We’re getting a large-scale experiment in bringing driver-less cars to a Florida retirement community. Yes, cars that travel on roadways without human drivers. I know. I know. It seems like we’ve had these cars forever in Florida. You’re driving...

Posted: 7 days ago

Mark it on your calendar. This is the time Florida has entered a brave new world. We’re getting a large-scale experiment in bringing driver-less cars to a Florida retirement community. Yes, cars that travel on roadways without human drivers. I know. I know. It seems like we’ve had these cars forever in Florida. You’re driving...
Gov. Scott can throw cold water on ICE raids at 7-Elevens in Florida
 Gov. Rick Scott needs to ask for one of those “Florida exemptions” from the nationally conducted immigration raids on 7-Elevens. This week, federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) made pre-dawn raids on 7-Eleven convenience stores in 17 states to look for undocumented immigrant workers. Of the nearly 100 stores raided...

Posted: 8 days ago

Gov. Rick Scott needs to ask for one of those “Florida exemptions” from the nationally conducted immigration raids on 7-Elevens. This week, federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) made pre-dawn raids on 7-Eleven convenience stores in 17 states to look for undocumented immigrant workers. Of the nearly 100 stores raided...
A presidential solution to keep offshore drilling off Florida’s waters
 I’ve figured out a way to keep President Donald Trump from opening up oil drilling off Florida’s beaches. First, a little history. You’d be hard-pressed to find Floridians who wish we had oil drilling offshore. Drilling for oil within visual distance of Florida’s beaches is so unpopular that politicians from both...

Posted: 10 days ago

I’ve figured out a way to keep President Donald Trump from opening up oil drilling off Florida’s beaches. First, a little history. You’d be hard-pressed to find Floridians who wish we had oil drilling offshore. Drilling for oil within visual distance of Florida’s beaches is so unpopular that politicians from both...
Cerabino: Warming up to the celebrity iguana in my backyard
 The recent cold snap in South Florida has caused me to re-evaluate the relationship I have with my backyard iguana. To some people, the bright green lizards are tropical delights, sun-worshipping creatures that add a touch of natural beauty to our landscape. But they’re probably not people who’ve watched iguanas use their...

Posted: 11 days ago

The recent cold snap in South Florida has caused me to re-evaluate the relationship I have with my backyard iguana. To some people, the bright green lizards are tropical delights, sun-worshipping creatures that add a touch of natural beauty to our landscape. But they’re probably not people who’ve watched iguanas use their...
Countdown to conflict over Trump’s corporate helicopter at Mar-a-Lago
 News item: The Town of Palm Beach is looking into a possible code violation at President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club. The Town Council approved the addition of a helipad on the back lawn of Mar-a-Lago on the condition that it be used strictly to fly the president in and out of the club on Marine One. Trump, however, has used the...

Posted: 13 days ago

News item: The Town of Palm Beach is looking into a possible code violation at President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club. The Town Council approved the addition of a helipad on the back lawn of Mar-a-Lago on the condition that it be used strictly to fly the president in and out of the club on Marine One. Trump, however, has used the...
Cerabino: Baby, it’s cold outside in Florida. How cold is it?
 As a full-service local news columnist, I feel it’s my duty to help you gain sympathy from your friends and relatives in other parts of the country who imagine that we are always spared from cold weather in Florida. The current cold spell that has blanketed Florida is a rare opportunity for us to curry sympathy from people elsewhere...

Posted: 15 days ago

As a full-service local news columnist, I feel it’s my duty to help you gain sympathy from your friends and relatives in other parts of the country who imagine that we are always spared from cold weather in Florida. The current cold spell that has blanketed Florida is a rare opportunity for us to curry sympathy from people elsewhere...
Cerabino: Loxahatchee lab is last hope for sparrow facing extinction
 The future of a nearly extinct Florida bird hinges on a captive breeding program in a wildlife facility in Loxahatchee. The Florida Grasshopper Sparrow, a small ground-nesting bird that makes Florida its year-round home, has been the victim of a sudden and somewhat mysterious decline. Even though a pair of these industrious birds can...

Posted: 17 days ago

The future of a nearly extinct Florida bird hinges on a captive breeding program in a wildlife facility in Loxahatchee. The Florida Grasshopper Sparrow, a small ground-nesting bird that makes Florida its year-round home, has been the victim of a sudden and somewhat mysterious decline. Even though a pair of these industrious birds can...
Cerabino: If you think 2017 was bad, check out these 2018 predictions
 Predictions for the new year: 8 — Brightline train service opens for business between West Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale stations. Gets rave reviews from both paying customers. 12 — South Florida Fair opens. The weather report for central Palm Beach County calls for mild temperatures with a chance of funnel-cake clouds. 12 &mdash...

Posted: 18 days ago

Predictions for the new year: 8 — Brightline train service opens for business between West Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale stations. Gets rave reviews from both paying customers. 12 — South Florida Fair opens. The weather report for central Palm Beach County calls for mild temperatures with a chance of funnel-cake clouds. 12 &mdash...
Cerabino: New Year’s resolutions? Yeah, I’ve got a few … or 30.
 Here are my 30 resolutions for the new year: 1. No, I will not take the short customer opinion survey at the end of the call. 2. I will not vote for any candidate who poses in campaign literature with other people’s children. 3. I will admit to myself that I’ve done a lousy job at paying attention to the license plate...

Posted: 20 days ago

Here are my 30 resolutions for the new year: 1. No, I will not take the short customer opinion survey at the end of the call. 2. I will not vote for any candidate who poses in campaign literature with other people’s children. 3. I will admit to myself that I’ve done a lousy job at paying attention to the license plate...
Cerabino: Nominees for 2017 Florida Gun Owner of the Year Award are …
 In the spirit of honoring dubious achievements, we here at the Citizens Against Virtually Everything (CAVE) are back again to announce this year’s winner of our coveted Florida Gun Owner of the Year Award. This is some stiff competition, and we mean that in both the figurative and literal sense, here in Florida, The Accidental Discharge...

Posted: 22 days ago

In the spirit of honoring dubious achievements, we here at the Citizens Against Virtually Everything (CAVE) are back again to announce this year’s winner of our coveted Florida Gun Owner of the Year Award. This is some stiff competition, and we mean that in both the figurative and literal sense, here in Florida, The Accidental Discharge...
Cerabino: Iguanas warming up to milder South Florida winters
 This has been a terrific year for iguanas in South Florida. If you don’t believe me, ask Brian Wood. He runs Iguana Catchers, a South Florida business that traps the reptiles when they become nuisances. “It’s an invasion,” Wood said. “We had a big freeze in 2010, and about 50 to 75 percent of them died off. But...

Posted: 24 days ago

This has been a terrific year for iguanas in South Florida. If you don’t believe me, ask Brian Wood. He runs Iguana Catchers, a South Florida business that traps the reptiles when they become nuisances. “It’s an invasion,” Wood said. “We had a big freeze in 2010, and about 50 to 75 percent of them died off. But...
Twas the night before Christmas at Mar-a-Lago. Guess who’s stirring?
 ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the state The temperature had fallen to a muggy seventy-eight. The residents of Mar-a-Lago, were getting a snooze All except for Donald, who was watching the news. On Fox they were saying, Trump was making us great So he ate some more ice cream even though it was late. And then...

Posted: 28 days ago

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the state The temperature had fallen to a muggy seventy-eight. The residents of Mar-a-Lago, were getting a snooze All except for Donald, who was watching the news. On Fox they were saying, Trump was making us great So he ate some more ice cream even though it was late. And then...
Cerabino: Pop-up SoulCycle finding a warm welcome in Palm Beach
 It’s a good thing I registered a day early. I figured that SoulCycle in Palm Beach would be popular. But how many people would be willing to pay $40 to sit in a dark room pedaling a stationary bicycle for 45 minutes? The answer: More than you’d imagine. SoulCycle, which started 11 years ago in the Upper West Side of Manhattan...

Posted: 29 days ago

It’s a good thing I registered a day early. I figured that SoulCycle in Palm Beach would be popular. But how many people would be willing to pay $40 to sit in a dark room pedaling a stationary bicycle for 45 minutes? The answer: More than you’d imagine. SoulCycle, which started 11 years ago in the Upper West Side of Manhattan...
Suggestions to make Disney’s Hall of Presidents attraction Trump-tastic
 Dear Walt Disney World: I have studied carefully a video of your new Hall of Presidents tableau that features an animatronic, talking President Donald Trump figure. The 22-minute presentation in this Magic Kingdom attraction had been closed since January in order for you to incorporate a talking and gesticulating President Trump robot...

12:07 AM Wednesday, Dec. 20, 2017

Dear Walt Disney World: I have studied carefully a video of your new Hall of Presidents tableau that features an animatronic, talking President Donald Trump figure. The 22-minute presentation in this Magic Kingdom attraction had been closed since January in order for you to incorporate a talking and gesticulating President Trump robot...
Cerabino: Paul Manafort to be stylishly detained in Palm Beach Gardens
 It makes sense that Paul Manafort, the former campaign manager for President Donald Trump, will wait for the outcome of his criminal case here in Palm Beach County. Manafort had been considered a flight risk after being collared in a 31-page indictment that spelled out a dozen felony charges against him, including laundering $75 million...

12:10 AM Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2017

It makes sense that Paul Manafort, the former campaign manager for President Donald Trump, will wait for the outcome of his criminal case here in Palm Beach County. Manafort had been considered a flight risk after being collared in a 31-page indictment that spelled out a dozen felony charges against him, including laundering $75 million...
Cerabino: Our Gov. Scott is a sexual-harassment warrior in training
 Gov. Rick Scott planted his flag this week on the issue of sexual harassment in the workplace. He won’t stand for it, no he won’t. “It is absolutely disgusting to hear the numerous accounts of sexual harassment happening across the country,” Scott said. “Everyone deserves to work in an environment that is safe...

12:05 AM Saturday, Dec. 16, 2017

Gov. Rick Scott planted his flag this week on the issue of sexual harassment in the workplace. He won’t stand for it, no he won’t. “It is absolutely disgusting to hear the numerous accounts of sexual harassment happening across the country,” Scott said. “Everyone deserves to work in an environment that is safe...
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