Frank Cerabino

Metro columnist for The Post since 1991.

Latest from Frank Cerabino

Cerabino: Women put the squeeze on boob leading Florida’s Democratic Party
 Turn yourselves in, guys. No use waiting. There’s no hiding out from this one. They’re going to find you. Men-Are-Pigs-Gate is in full bloom, and the way things are going, there will be many more carcasses of once-powerful men littering the gutters of politics, commerce and the arts before it’s settled. Get out in front...

Posted: a day ago

Turn yourselves in, guys. No use waiting. There’s no hiding out from this one. They’re going to find you. Men-Are-Pigs-Gate is in full bloom, and the way things are going, there will be many more carcasses of once-powerful men littering the gutters of politics, commerce and the arts before it’s settled. Get out in front...
No statue a limitation as Trump protest season comes to Palm Beach
 Our street protest infrastructure needs revamping here in Palm Beach County. As you know, the Official 2017-18 President Donald Trump Protest Season kicked off last weekend in West Palm Beach for what promises to be six busy months of weekend street demonstrations and counterdemonstrations. And one thing is clear. We’ve got some...

Posted: 2 days ago

Our street protest infrastructure needs revamping here in Palm Beach County. As you know, the Official 2017-18 President Donald Trump Protest Season kicked off last weekend in West Palm Beach for what promises to be six busy months of weekend street demonstrations and counterdemonstrations. And one thing is clear. We’ve got some...
Cerabino: Judge Roy Moore’s sexcapades has silver lining for Florida
 The unmasking of pious, bigot Roy Moore as a U.S. Senate candidate with a history of making sexual advances on high school girls, could end up having a beneficial effect for some girls in Florida. Florida is one of 25 states that offers adult men a chance to avoid statutory rape by marrying the underage girls they impregnate. The minimum...

Posted: 4 days ago

The unmasking of pious, bigot Roy Moore as a U.S. Senate candidate with a history of making sexual advances on high school girls, could end up having a beneficial effect for some girls in Florida. Florida is one of 25 states that offers adult men a chance to avoid statutory rape by marrying the underage girls they impregnate. The minimum...
Cerabino: Welcome to Florida, home of the ‘emotional support squirrel’
 We may be breaking new ground here in Florida when it comes to emotional support animals. Squirrels! Yes, a renter is fighting an eviction from a Clearwater condo over his pet squirrel, Brutus. Ryan Boylan has claimed that under the Fair Housing Act he should be allowed to live with his squirrel because it’s not just any squirrel...

Posted: 5 days ago

We may be breaking new ground here in Florida when it comes to emotional support animals. Squirrels! Yes, a renter is fighting an eviction from a Clearwater condo over his pet squirrel, Brutus. Ryan Boylan has claimed that under the Fair Housing Act he should be allowed to live with his squirrel because it’s not just any squirrel...
Absent health care fix, tax relief no relief for Wellington family
 President Donald Trump has been talking about rescuing the middle class. “We will cut taxes for middle-class families. This is a major, major tax cut — the biggest since Ronald Reagan,” he said in a speech two months ago. “The pipe fitters and plumbers, and nurses, and police officers — all the people like...

Posted: 7 days ago

President Donald Trump has been talking about rescuing the middle class. “We will cut taxes for middle-class families. This is a major, major tax cut — the biggest since Ronald Reagan,” he said in a speech two months ago. “The pipe fitters and plumbers, and nurses, and police officers — all the people like...
Cerabino: Gov. Scott’s plan to pray away gun violence needs a hotline
 The phone rings. A recorded voice answers the call. You have reached Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s Rapid Response Center for Gun Violence. If you are calling to hear Gov. Scott’s plan to find remedies for mass shootings in America, such as the domestic abuser in Texas who shot and killed 26 people during a church service on Sunday...

Posted: 9 days ago

The phone rings. A recorded voice answers the call. You have reached Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s Rapid Response Center for Gun Violence. If you are calling to hear Gov. Scott’s plan to find remedies for mass shootings in America, such as the domestic abuser in Texas who shot and killed 26 people during a church service on Sunday...
Cerabino: Mar-a-Lago welcomes new crop of Ameri … uh … foreign workers
 Dear New Employees: Welcome to Mar-a-Lago! Bienvenido. Bine ati venit. Dobro pozhalovat. Herzlich willkommen. Dobrodosli. I know you will do your part to make the Mar-a-Lago workforce great again. And none of you will get sick, complain about overtime, need to get off early to pick up a spouse or do any of the other selfish...

Posted: 11 days ago

Dear New Employees: Welcome to Mar-a-Lago! Bienvenido. Bine ati venit. Dobro pozhalovat. Herzlich willkommen. Dobrodosli. I know you will do your part to make the Mar-a-Lago workforce great again. And none of you will get sick, complain about overtime, need to get off early to pick up a spouse or do any of the other selfish...
Cerabino: Marco Rubio’s spine to be tested in new tax bill
 Uh, oh. Marco Rubio’s talking about his parents again. Florida’s junior U.S. Senator usually invokes his father the bartender, and his mother the maid, when he’s running for office and delivering a stem-winder on the American Dream. Rubio’s parents came to the United States in pre-Castro Cuba with little skills...

Posted: 12 days ago

Uh, oh. Marco Rubio’s talking about his parents again. Florida’s junior U.S. Senator usually invokes his father the bartender, and his mother the maid, when he’s running for office and delivering a stem-winder on the American Dream. Rubio’s parents came to the United States in pre-Castro Cuba with little skills...
Cerabino: Thanks a hundred. ‘Notes from hell’ takes the cake.
 Here’s the start of a column I wrote on March 30, 1992: “I’ve decided to occasionally answer my mail. Here goes. Notes from hell, Volume 1.” Calling my reader mail “notes from hell” was an easy call. I had been a columnist for three months, and was already getting some gems. So it began. &ldquo...

Posted: 15 days ago

Here’s the start of a column I wrote on March 30, 1992: “I’ve decided to occasionally answer my mail. Here goes. Notes from hell, Volume 1.” Calling my reader mail “notes from hell” was an easy call. I had been a columnist for three months, and was already getting some gems. So it began. &ldquo...
Cerabino: Stretched-thin FBI hot on the trail in airline-sex case
 The FBI has way too many things to investigate. And it’s not just the Russian interference in U.S. elections, a terrorist attack in New York, and that fishy $300 million contract to fix Puerto Rico’s electrical grid. Those are just the most high-profile investigations. The FBI is also conducting ongoing investigations of bribery...

Posted: 17 days ago

The FBI has way too many things to investigate. And it’s not just the Russian interference in U.S. elections, a terrorist attack in New York, and that fishy $300 million contract to fix Puerto Rico’s electrical grid. Those are just the most high-profile investigations. The FBI is also conducting ongoing investigations of bribery...
Cerabino: It’s time to collar sexual misconduct in the Florida Senate
 I’ve been pricing dog obedience collars. I don’t have a dog, but I’m thinking they may be useful in handling the Florida Senate, which is convulsing in sexcapades and Harvey Weinstein-triggered retribution. Extreme measures may be called for. After all, two women in the Florida Senate, Sen. Lizbeth Benequisto, R-Fort...

Posted: 18 days ago

I’ve been pricing dog obedience collars. I don’t have a dog, but I’m thinking they may be useful in handling the Florida Senate, which is convulsing in sexcapades and Harvey Weinstein-triggered retribution. Extreme measures may be called for. After all, two women in the Florida Senate, Sen. Lizbeth Benequisto, R-Fort...