There’s plenty rhyme, reason in these Deadline Limerick submissions


OK, enough limericks. I need a break.

I’m starting to see five-line ditties in my sleep.

Several days ago, I used this column and the annual Palm Beach Poetry Festival as an excuse to challenge readers to come up with “deadline limericks” — ones that play off the news. And I wrote that in a future column I would publish some of your clever offerings.

Some of you, like Dave Gorfinkle of Boynton Beach, immediately smelled a rat:

There once was a newspaper writer

who should have been a bit brighter,

than making his readers

become his news feeders

and sharing the role of inciter

But most of you got busy coming up with too many worthy breaking-news limericks to print in a single column, including some from teacher Matthew Heath’s 11th grade English class at Lake Worth High School.

So here’s a sliver of what readers have been sending me this past week.

Patricia Rorke of Ocean Ridge tackled the ascendant #MeToo women’s movement:

Watch out the women are coming

to silence the ‘Men Only’ drumming

They will leave the guys reeling

as they crash the glass ceiling

and no longer allow the down-dumbing

Meanwhile, my old buddy Ed Salem of Boynton Beach was addressing the rising sea levels associated with climate change.

There once was a senior Floridian

who lived by the sea in oblivion

when climate change hit

his life changed a bit

and he had to become an amphibian

The annual migration from the north was handled deftly by seasonal resident Lynn Miller.

Despite Cerabino’s strong words

we come to the Southland in herds

And our money still spends

on our food and Depends

for we are, after all, the snowbirds

Chris Gross of Palm Beach Gardens got to the bottom of the naturists who’ve been clamoring for a nude beach.

In the nudist camp’s recent enclosure

If you join there, requires exposure

of your naked bod

That’s not really odd

It is just giving you full disclothes-ure

Joan Van Poznak of West Palm Beach waxed poetic about her displeasure with the city’s new traffic-rerouting Flagler Shore experiment, which is designed to make the city’s waterfront more appealing to pedestrians.

Mayor Muoio is keeping alive

our city’s desire to thrive

But she hasn’t a clue

about what to do

with the waterfront on Flagler Drive

Paul Noble of Palm Beach is already thinking about the guest list at the upcoming British Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle.

The Royal pair Meghan and Harry,

this May are going to marry,

With all of their might,

they will not invite

Don Trump, a figure quite scary!

Of all the topics submitted, anything to do with President Donald Trump was by far the most popular. And the rhyming covered multiple fronts.

Priscilla Argyle of Delray Beach tackled the recent allegations of hush money over an eight-year-old tryst with a porn star.

A GOP leader called Trump-et

was caught with a porn star, a strumpet

It cost him 130 K

for her to have nothing to say

and the voters could like it or lump it

Therese Mattil of Delray Beach rhymed about results of President Trump’s recent physical, which listed his weight at a less-than-credible 239 pounds.

The man with over 2,000 lies

greatly under-estimated his size

“Believe me!” he said,

then headed to bed,

with a cheeseburger and fries

George Greider of Boynton Beach wanted to know if there was a limit on how many limericks he could send me. Here’s one of them:

There once was a man from Mar-a-Lago

who traveled with plenty of cargo

He jammed up our streets

and in between tweets

he turned the White House into “Fargo.”

Ellen Rosenberg of Royal Palm Beach focused on President Trump’s assertion that he wanted more immigrants from Norway.

Our commander declares he’s a fighter

all his laws will make things so much righter.

Yet it seems that his view

takes a much different hue.

What he wants is a country that’s whiter.

Some of you also chose to flatter me, which I don’t recommend — unless you do it as well as Rick Beardsley did.

It is news shows from Fox we can thank

for flushing real news down the tank

But for views nifty-keeno

We read Cerabino

‘Cause we know all his columns are Frank



Reader Comments ...


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