Dear U.S. District Judge Kenneth Marra:
I am writing this letter on behalf of my close personal friend Donald Trump, who is too busy these days saving America to ask you to step down from presiding over the civil trial against him at his Jupiter golf club.
You clearly are one of those Trump haters who populate the judiciary, as evidenced by the fact that you haven’t already dismissed the class-action lawsuit filed by these golf club losers. Some 60 former club members are upset because they lost their deposits when Trump bought the former Ritz Carlton Golf Club, turned it into the Trump National Golf Club, and changed the membership rules.
Whatever happened there was fine. Nothing wrong. Everybody was treated fairly, even the ones who want their money back.
We’re talking about peanuts here. A total of $6 million in deposits. Imagine bothering Trump for that kind of pocket change!
But Judge Marra, you set a possible trial date in August for this breach-of-contract lawsuit, a clear sign that you are letting your multiple biases against Trump get in the way.
It appears that you may be even more unsuitable to hear a Trump case than the average Mexican-American judge from Indiana.
Allow me to explain.
First of all, you are a George W. Bush appointee. He’s the brother of the very low-energy Jeb, who is still angry that Trump kept reminding him of his brother’s war — that disaster. And Jeb has publicly said he won’t be voting for Donald Trump in November, even though he pledged to vote for the party’s nominee months earlier.
So you’re a Bush guy. And therefore a Trump hater.
To paraphrase Trump’s words on another matter: When it comes to hearing lawsuits against Trump, there needs to be a complete and total shutdown of federal judges who were appointed by Bush until we can figure out what the heck is going on.
Now, let’s move onto your work with Native Americans.
Before becoming a judge you were a Justice Department attorney in the Indian Resources Section, handling cases involved Native American treaties and special rights.
As you know, Trump is no fan of Native American special rights, especially when it comes to casinos. Trump has been on record opposing the federal government granting Native Americans the right to run casinos on their lands. He sued the federal government over it in 1993 and a year later he said this about Native Americans running casinos:
“You’re going to have the biggest organized crime problem in the history of this country. Al Capone is going to look like a baby.”
So Judge Marra, as a former government lawyer working with Native Americans, Mr. Trump can’t count on you to be fair to him.
Recuse yourself. Without reservation (pun intended).
Then there’s your Catholic religion.
Don’t get me wrong. Trump loves the Catholics. He hires Catholics, even the Mexican ones. But as you know, he’s been in a Twitter war with Pope Francis, who is essentially Bernie Sanders in white vestments.
The Pope’s been very unfair to Mr. Trump by doubting he would be the greatest president. He even said Trump was “not Christian” for calling for the deportations of undocumented residents and building an immense border wall.
The concern is that devout Catholics, such as yourself, Judge Marra, tend to believe that the Pope is, as the church teaches, infallible.
So no Catholic judges can be presumed to be fair to Trump.
Then there’s the fact that you’re Italian. OK, you were born in Queens, but that’s close enough. Your family history leads to Italy.
And Italians tend to be Trump haters too. They see him as reincarnation of their reviled former bunga-bunga expert and national disgrace, Silvio Berlusconi — a man Trump has praised and admired.
So step aside, Judge Marra. Or better yet, just dismiss the case against Mr. Trump.
Florida already has a system for handling monetary issues Floridians have against Mr. Trump.
Florida residents simply complain to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi. Bondi then asks Trump for a sizable campaign donation. Trump writes the check to Bondi, and the complaint vanishes.
It worked for Trump University. It can work for the golf club in Jupiter.
I hope you will consider this letter, Judge Marra, and do your part to make America great again.