Predictions for the new year:
14: Organizers of Florida’s medical marijuana ballot initiative dealt setback when volunteers lose thousands of signed petitions at Phish concert.
17: Megyn Kelly at Fox News says Martin Luther King Jr. was white.
27: Donald Trump announces that he is seriously considering running for Florida governor.
7: Opening ceremony of Winter Olympics in Russia marred when Vladimir Putin, arriving shirtless and on horseback, lights torch with flaming Village People album.
15: For 150th anniversary, Battle of Olustee re-enacted in North Florida. Historians consider it last time that invaders from the north were successfully repelled.
18: Gov. Rick Scott touts his record for creating Civil War re-enactor jobs in Florida.
3: John Goodman’s DUI manslaughter re-trial is postponed to give defense more time to invent another story.
17: Palm Beach County proposes stadium complex in Wellington for Houston Astros and Toronto Blue Jays.
18: Group called “Concerned Wellington Citizens Against Stadium Complex” packs county commission meeting.
17: Bill to to raise highway speed limit to 75 miles per hour in Florida passes both houses after legislators assure AARP lobbyist that elderly drivers will still be able to drive 40 miles an hour in the left lane.
23:“Gefilte Fish Riot” breaks out in Florida prison when facility runs out of court-ordered kosher meals for inmates.
8: Charlie Crist and Gov. Scott in statistical dead heat for governor’s race. Donald Trump says he’s very close to making “a very important announcement” on whether he will run for governor.
20:NSA admits to eavesdropping on Americans through secret shower cams.
1: President Barack Obama promises that most of the glitches plaguing Obamacare will be fixed by Labor Day.
11: Gov. Scott announces that all Florida public school teachers will get $25 Applebee’s gift cards for their hard work. Crist calls that “insulting” and promises teachers $50 Chili’s gift cards.
15: WikiLeaks announces it has obtained millions of NSA shower-cam videos of Americans.
21: The Guggenheim Museum in New York debuts show of gunslinger-turned-artist George Zimmerman’s paintings. Shots fired.
5: During team scrimmage, Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill completes long pass to wide receiver Mike Wallace at team’s practice facility in Davie. Playoff hopes rise to fever pitch for Dolphins fans.
24: Miley Cyrus’s stage performance at MTV’s Video Music Awards includes full gynecological exam and new dance move called “stirruping.”
1: President Obama promises that most of the glitches plaguing Obamacare will be fixed by the end of the year.
3: Florida education officials say new standardized testing going well, but until further notice, all failing schools will receive letter grade of “B.”
9: After leaving “Duck Dynasty” over homophobic and racially offensive comments, Phil Robertson wins Republican primary for U.S. Congressional seat from Louisiana.
4: Hurricane Marco pounds Florida coastline. Rubio blames Obama.
13: Televised debate between Charlie Crist and Rick Scott overshadowed by Donald Trump, who said he’s within hours of making “a decision that’s really going to shake everybody up.”
14: Trump goes on Fox & Friends, saying “his people” are telling him that Charlie Crist really isn’t a Democrat. Trump said he will find out. Meanwhile, it’s too early to say whether he will run for governor.
4: Election Day. Florida governor’s race “too close to call.” Statewide recounts begin.
5: Trump announces that he has decided not to run for Florida governor.
27: Local malls serve turkey in food court as Thanksgiving is re-branded “Black Thursday.”
30: Stacks of uncounted ballots found in St. Lucie County.
1: Due to lack of floor space in Capitol rotunda, state officials in Tallahassee ask atheists to pick their top six ironic entries for display. Guy with Festivus pole sues.
15: Bill O’Reilly criticizes Pope Francis for saying “happy holidays” to Vatican visitors.
29: Recount of Florida governor’s race enters week nine.
30: President Obama promises that the glitches plaguing Obamacare will be fixed by Valentine’s Day.
31: Oxford Dictionary names “stirruping” the word of the year.