We citizens of Palm Beach County can give President Donald Trump the “win” he desperately needs.
We can give him a wall on the Southern border.
OK, it’s actually on the Southern Boulevard border. But that’s close enough for Trump, who has amply demonstrated a willingness to fuzz up the details when it suits him.
And so it won’t take much to get him to consider The Great Southern Boulevard Border Wall as just another incredible accomplishment of his time in office.
“People were telling me it couldn’t be done,” I can already imagine him saying. “They said there’s never been a wall like this on our Southern Boulevard border. They said the Wellington commuter lobbyists were too strong.”
The need for the wall is due to Trump’s trips to Mar-a-Lago since being elected. He has been arriving at Palm Beach International Airport on the jumbo jetliner, Air Force One, which parks along the edge of the airport property, near the passing traffic on Southern Boulevard.
This creates a security issue for the Secret Service.
To shield the president’s plane from the curious public, the county has been enlisted to provide a slew of yellow school buses to be placed end to end to create a temporary barrier at the airport.
It’s a bit unsightly, though, and gives the impression that Air Force One has been converted to an unconventional charter school perpetually in the midst of student dismissal time.
What’s really needed is a taller and more permanent barrier.
And so now the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office is exploring with a contractor the possibility of putting a long wall along that part of the airport property for Trump. The company, TCP Security Solutions of Tampa, was the same one that put the 8-foot-tall reinforced steel barriers along A1A in front of the Eau Palm Beach hotel in Manalapan during the April visit of Chinese President Xi Jinping.
Yes, the Great Southern Boulevard Border Wall is going to be a fraction of the 1,250-mile wall that Trump had promised on the Mexican border. And not exactly in the right place, either.
But these are minor details.
And the need is great. That’s because the bigger Mexican border wall is in limbo, with its fate postponed to uncertain budget negotiations slated for September. It’s shaping up to be another disappointment, and I’m not sure how many more disappointments this president can take before he starts requiring daily televised praise sessions from his cabinet.
So we have to throw him a bone here, give him this little wall, and pretend it’s the big wall he was talking about. For the sake of the country.
I know what you’re thinking. And, no, we can’t get Mexico to pay for the Great Southern Boulevard Border Wall.
We’re going to have to be the Mexicans here. And I mean that in more than one way.
If we’re going to pull off this wall deal, we’ll need to sell it to the president when he visits the next time it’s in place.
That means hundreds of Palm Beach County residents clamoring on the south side of the wall, pretending that it is keeping them from going where they want to go.
It will be heartening for the president to look out of the window of Air Force One and see so many people being frustrated by the presence of a wall.
Oh, yeah, and while you’re standing on the side of Southern Boulevard, make sure to wear sombreros. It’s the little touches that count.