Rush Limbaugh needs to be given special permission to ride out Hurricane Irma from his home in Palm Beach.
While every other resident on the barrier island will be told to relocate inland, the radio talk-show host ought to be given permission to demonstrate his theory that Irma is part of an elaborate “deep state” plot to further the canard of climate change.
“Unlike UFOs, which only land in trailer parks, hurricanes are always forecast to hit major population centers,” Limbaugh opined on his radio show this week. “Because, after all, major population centers is where the major damage will take place and where we can demonstrate that these things are getting bigger and they’re getting more frequent and they’re getting worse.
“All because of climate change. I’ve got the audio sound bites to support,” he continued. “I can’t tell you the number of media people and elected officials all talking about this hurricane, Hurricane Irma, it’s no doubt due to climate change.”
Irma’s all spin to Limbaugh — and not the counterclockwise kind that’s swirling at 185 miles an hour.
“So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it,” Limbaugh explained. “You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere. All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.”
Hey, maybe we should listen to Limbaugh. Because when it comes to peddling fear and panic, that’s basically his business model.
So his point, that hurricane forecasting is part of an elaborate plot to help the battery, bottled water and plywood industries, while ginning up ridiculous concern over global changes caused by excessive greenhouse gas emissions, is something that ought to be empirically tested.
It would be simple.
When Hurricane Irma blows by this weekend, Limbaugh needs to be broadcasting from his oceanfront Palm Beach home, giving real-time updates on this so-called hurricane as it passes.
He can use his rhetorical flourishes to explain how the water creeping up the beach toward his back lawn isn’t really storm surge but part of a “deep ocean” plot orchestrated by Al Gore.
And that banging sound from the howling wind? He can muse that it might just be that antifa and Black Lives Matter protesters are taking advantage of the fake hurricane to rampage on North Ocean Boulevard.
This could be turned into a pay-per-view event. I’m guessing that even those Americans who can’t stomach Limbaugh’s show under normal circumstances would pay to listen to his Hurricane Irma live broadcast.
Put a live TV feed on Limbaugh during the storm and you could create an event that raises more money than the recent Mayweather/McGregor boxing match. The Irma/Limbaugh bout could be promoted as an epic battle between two mighty winds.
And Limbaugh would be a hero for doing it.
That’s because the proceeds from his pay-per-view hurricane-scam experiment could help pay for the billions of dollars in damages that other Floridians will experience from the storm.
But we’ll have to act fast. Because while Limbaugh has been telling his audience that these hurricanes are much to do about nothing, he is also letting his listeners know that he’s not planning to try out his own theory.
“Look, the program has to go on,” he said. “I can sit here and say, ‘You know what, I’m gonna stay, I’m gonna ride this out.’ And I would if it weren’t for the fact that we’re gonna lose electricity. If we lose electricity, then there’s no way we can get the show done outta here.”
Nonsense. We can fix that. I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers who would arrange to give Limbaugh the generator power he needs at his home so he can stay there and broadcast throughout the storm.
So if there’s any way for the Palm Beach Police to let Limbaugh stay on the island, please do.
You’d be performing a tremendous public service.