Florida’s evolution to complainer’s paradise for public schools


News item: A new Florida law allows any resident, regardless of whether he or she has children in the public school system, to instigate a formal challenge to any textbook, library book, novel, or other kind of instructional material used in a public school.

The state law channels the resident’s complaint to an “unbiased and qualified hearing officer” who is empowered to determine whether the material is “accurate, objective, balanced, noninflammatory, current, and suited to student needs and their ability to comprehend the material presented.”

***

Dear Unbiased and Qualified Hearing Officer:

So my cousin’s nephew’s best friend’s daughter tells me there’s nothing about Noah’s Ark in her public school textbook for Earth Science. How can this be?

Instead of filling these kids’ minds with nonsense about sedimentary rocks from billions of years ago (when we know the earth is only 6,000 years old!) they should be taught how they’re all here today because the 600-year-old Noah loaded all the animals two-by-two on his big ark, and thereby preserved life on Earth.

I believe without the ark, your explanation of the world fails being “balanced and noninflammatory.”

Which is why me and the others in the prayer circle are planning to show up for the public hearing we are entitled to under the new Instructional Materials Act passed by legislature.

Just say when.

***

Dear Unbiased and Qualified Hearing Officer:

It has come to my attention that some public school libraries in this district contain the novel “Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck, a well-known socialist who visited the Soviet Union in 1947 and espoused biased opinions about capitalism.

By allowing students to read Steinbeck’s “Grapes of Wrath” you are exposing them to a work of art that shines a harsh light on American history and its ideals.

This is shameful, and obviously part of the school board’s liberal agenda. Which is why me and others in my morning Einstein’s Bagels discussion group hereby demand that unless you balance Steinbeck’s “Grapes of Wrath” in school libraries with Sean Hannity’s inspiring book, “Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War over Liberalism” we will be requesting a public hearing.

We’re not putting up with the school district’s Saul Alinsky tactics!

***

Dear Unbiased and Qualified Hearing Officer:

As the owner of a piece of property I maintain in Florida for tax purposes and the proud lobbyist of our nation’s most historically important source of energy generation, I am dismayed to learn that public school children are being brainwashed by “Earth Day” every year.

Through course materials and something called the Florida Green School Network, public school students are being taught to feel less than enthusiastic about harnessing the awesome power of coal. We find the constant praise for renewable energy to be subjective, not objective, as your teaching standards are required to be.

Pounding the importance of solar, wind and other renewables into impressionable young minds while ignoring the vital contributions of clean coal, extracted from dynamited mountain tops, is both un-American and unbalanced.

Which is why my friends and I in the coal industry, are hereby demanding that all course materials relating to “Earth Day” be suspended until and unless Florida’s public schools start celebrating a yearly and counter-balancing “Clean Coal Day.”

Please schedule a public hearing on this, preferably not during Black Lung Awareness Month.

***

Dear Unbiased and Qualified Hearing Officer:

So my neighbor tells me that his child’s middle school has morning announcements that do the weather. And that one day in May, the student weather-person remarked that it was really hot outside, and that “maybe it’s the climate change.”

As you know, climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese on America. (See enclosed presidential tweet.)

Me and my friends on the InfoWars chat group feel that children in Florida’s public schools may be exposed to school materials that support the view that climate change is real, which is obviously designed to turn them into sheeple during a government false flag operation.

Please investigate this immediately and schedule a public hearing at a time when none of us are working — which just so happens to be anytime right now.



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