News item: A fake Time magazine cover has been framed and hung on the walls of at least four of President Donald Trump’s private clubs, including Doral in Miami-Dade County, the Washington Post reported.
The cover of a non-existent March 1, 2009, issue of the magazine displays a full-page single image of Trump with the headline “Trump is hitting on all fronts … even TV!” over the magazine name at the top of the page. The dominant headline on the bottom of the page reads: “DONALD TRUMP” with the sub-headline, “The ‘Apprentice’ is a television smash!”
There was no issue of Time magazine on that date and no real issues of the magazine that featured Trump on the cover that entire year, the newspaper reported.
Time magazine has asked the Trump Organization to remove all the fake news covers of its magazine from walls of the clubs.
We’re going to need to help our president. From now on, few club members at Mar-a-Lago’s are going to believe any framed front page of Time magazine featuring Trump.
He’s going to need expand his repertoire of fake magazine covers praising him.
Fortunately, there are so many more magazine covers that can be doctored to support his fragile ego in a way that might spare us from having to endure an attention-getting nuclear war in the future.
We here a TWISTED — Tactical Wordsmiths In Satisfying Trump’s Ego Disorder — have already been working hard to meet his bottomless need in this area.
Here are some fake magazine covers featuring Trump’s face we’d like to see hanging in Mar-a-Lago by next season:
Magazine name: Cosmopolitan
Headline: Tease him and please him; Secrets of falling in love at a Trump rally
Secondary headline: The comb-over foreplay that women crave
Magazine name: Utne Reader
Headline: He knows all the big words
Secondary headline: “Art of the Deal” zooms past Bible in readers best-book poll
Magazine name: GQ
Headline: Real men and their really long ties
Secondary headline: The amazing secret of KFC buckets and six-pack abs
Magazine name: Cat Fancy
Headline: The magic of being grabbed by a Trump hand
Secondary headline: Siamese cats are laughing at us! That’s gonna stop
Magazine name: National Geographic
Headline: Cartographers agree; Israel not in Middle East
Secondary headline: The fold-out Electoral College map of 2016
Magazine name: Marie Claire
Headline: Why female reporters love it when old men flirt with them in the Oval Office
Secondary headline: The 25 most disgusting Mika Brzezinski face-lift photos
Magazine name: The Economist
Headline: The Russian hoax and the real dangers of 400-pound guys sitting on their beds
Secondary headline: Angela Merkel’s bad breath
Magazine name: Architectural Digest
Headline: Walls and their beautiful doors
Secondary headline: The dos and don’ts of designing media prisons
Magazine name: TV Guide
Headline: Russia hearings are a TV rating smash!
Secondary headline: Why all the smart people watch Fox & Friends
Magazine name: Columbia Journalism Review
Headline: CNN wins Pulitzer in “Fake News” category
Secondary headline: Failing New York Times sold to Russian oligarch
Magazine name: Forbes
Headline: Swamp drained, say five Goldman Sachs cabinet members
Secondary headline: Permanent audit; why some IRS returns must remain secret
Magazine name: Better Homes & Gardens
Headline: Nothing says flushed with success more than a gold toilet bowl
Secondary headline: Moving the airport — and other tips to getting the most out of your home