Crafting new fake Trump magazine covers for the walls of Mar-a-Lago.

News item: A fake Time magazine cover has been framed and hung on the walls of at least four of President Donald Trump’s private clubs, including Doral in Miami-Dade County, the Washington Post reported

The cover of a non-existent March 1, 2009, issue of the magazine displays a full-page single image of Trump with the headline “Trump is hitting on all fronts … even TV!” over the magazine name at the top of the page. The dominant headline on the bottom of the page reads: “DONALD TRUMP” with the sub-headline, “The ‘Apprentice’ is a television smash!”

There was no issue of Time magazine on that date and no real issues of the magazine that featured Trump on the cover that entire year, the newspaper reported. 

Time magazine has asked the Trump Organization to remove all the fake news covers of its magazine from walls of the clubs.


We’re going to need to help our president. From now on, few club members at Mar-a-Lago’s are going to believe any framed front page of Time magazine featuring Trump.

He’s going to need expand his repertoire of fake magazine covers praising him.

Fortunately, there are so many more magazine covers that can be doctored to support his fragile ego in a way that might spare us from having to endure an attention-getting nuclear war in the future.

We here a TWISTED — Tactical Wordsmiths In Satisfying Trump’s Ego Disorder — have already been working hard to meet his bottomless need in this area.

Here are some fake magazine covers featuring Trump’s face we’d like to see hanging in Mar-a-Lago by next season:


Magazine name: Cosmopolitan

Headline: Tease him and please him; Secrets of falling in love at a Trump rally

Secondary headline: The comb-over foreplay that women crave


Magazine name: Utne Reader

Headline: He knows all the big words

Secondary headline: “Art of the Deal” zooms past Bible in readers best-book poll


Magazine name: GQ

Headline: Real men and their really long ties

Secondary headline: The amazing secret of KFC buckets and six-pack abs


Magazine name: Cat Fancy

Headline: The magic of being grabbed by a Trump hand

Secondary headline: Siamese cats are laughing at us! That’s gonna stop


Magazine name: National Geographic

Headline: Cartographers agree; Israel not in Middle East

Secondary headline: The fold-out Electoral College map of 2016


Magazine name: Marie Claire

Headline: Why female reporters love it when old men flirt with them in the Oval Office

Secondary headline: The 25 most disgusting Mika Brzezinski face-lift photos


Magazine name: The Economist

Headline: The Russian hoax and the real dangers of 400-pound guys sitting on their beds

Secondary headline: Angela Merkel’s bad breath


Magazine name: Architectural Digest

Headline: Walls and their beautiful doors

Secondary headline: The dos and don’ts of designing media prisons


Magazine name: TV Guide

Headline: Russia hearings are a TV rating smash!

Secondary headline: Why all the smart people watch Fox & Friends


Magazine name: Columbia Journalism Review

Headline: CNN wins Pulitzer in “Fake News” category

Secondary headline: Failing New York Times sold to Russian oligarch


Magazine name: Forbes

Headline: Swamp drained, say five Goldman Sachs cabinet members

Secondary headline: Permanent audit; why some IRS returns must remain secret


Magazine name: Better Homes & Gardens

Headline: Nothing says flushed with success more than a gold toilet bowl

Secondary headline: Moving the airport — and other tips to getting the most out of your home

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